Why??

Why is it when you need the Lord the most, it hurts so much to be in His presence?
In church I always find some passage or hymn or message that strikes me as a promise or a reminder to be patient. I love worship service, but hate crying. Makes me not want to go.
Why is it kids I babysat who are barely out of high school are pregnant and their younger sister just had a baby?
Why is it that these kids were raised by their grandmother, to now be having their kids raised by their great-grandmother? Where's my baby?
All I want is some good eggs to turn into good embryos and just one little baby.

Why do I have to wait?
Why?
Why?