Not Fair

I had a bad day this weekend when someone I know was recently complaining that they were TTC #2 and it had been 2 months!!! GEEZ, but then in passing she mentioned she was sick - well really pregnant - wink wink- yada yada - whatever!
I kept myself together but that night had a good cry in bed. SO many friends have recently had or gotten pregnant with #2.
My Mom friends are starting to ask if we WANT another or if we only planned to have 1, but we're so young to only have one, you know Madison really needs/wants a sibling.... I want to tell them to tell it to God, its his choice.
I KNOW I am blessed to have one child - but I want more, and if God wants me to only have 1 - give me a sign so I can move pass this longing and yearning. I'm not done fighting for another, but if we go through another year of this, we'll stop fighting the battle.

Tonight I was out with family and their kids when AF came - I was in tears as I had to hunt down a pad. Not FAIR that she came, and NOT fair it was early and ruined my night. NOT fair. I want to have a tantrum sometimes. Its easy to put on a good poker face most days, but then something happens and the cracks show.