Rapido

Driving home from the grocery store and Maddy yells "Go faster Momma - go faster! Rapido! Rapido!"

I think we've watched too much Dora this week. 

Weigh in day

WOW - Down 4 pounds. 

I know its probably a lot of water - but it makes the challenges and changes this week seem worth it. 

Lets see - Can we do 2-3 pounds this week? I'm happy even with 1.

Yesterday I saw friends whom I haven't seen in a long time. My Mom made  sloppy joes and brownies. Yes I had both, but I also had the fruit and was limiting the rest of day with the "points". Didn't seem to hurt me too much, but we'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Sick

I hate when she's sick.

She's all happy but ooey-gooey in a not so good way, she can't breathe, which means she can't sleep and she sneezes and coughs a lot! Plus Mom and Dad get less sleep too. 2 nights this week I have been up for most of it, holding her, helping her breathe and sleep.

I hate when people bring sick kids to playdates or class. Makes me want to call them up each time I'm up at night. If we can't sleep, they shouldn't either.

Preschool

I figured this would be a place for me to talk about my weight issues - to help me focus and keep going.

But my child is too cute for words and now I will post about her also.

Maddy has Mommy and Me preschool on Tuesdays. We do free play and painting then circle time with songs and books, snack and then outdoor play. While the kids play outside, the Moms meet with the instructor and talk about parenting issues. We sit on a big blanket on the grass near the kids. 

ALL the kids play together - away from the parents. Except mine. She grabs a push car and sits in that car next to me the whole time. She honks her horn, puts things in her car, but stays within 2 feet of me the entire time. Other kids come over and talk to her and fill her car with gas and brings her stuff to put in the car's trunk - but she stays right there with me. 

Sigh - Do the other kids think its odd? At least she doesn't cry.

Diet Day

So - its here - the day I start my diet. I dread it, I look forward to it. Will it work, can I stick to it? Am I too weak to fight through the cravings to lose the weight? Should I just learn to be happy with my unhealthy self?

I am ready. This is ridiculous, I need to lose weight, I need to learn to think and eat healthy. 

I am on board.

I know I'll make mistakes

I know I'll eat the wrong food

I know the weight will be hard to lose

I know I will fight to stay on track.

Now to be accountable. I NEED to lose 15 pounds before Jan 1, I want to lose 20 before Christmas. I have enough time, now I need the willpower to see it happen.

Wish me luck.

Weight watchers Widget

I found this while getting ready to start my new diet. Shoot - if its nice and easy for me, might as well make it available on my site.

Visit DietsInReview.com. Hundreds of Diets to pick from like Weight Watchers and Weight Watchers for Men.
Weight Watchers and Weight Watchers Points are registered trademarks of Weight Watchers International Inc.

Yum

I have a new yummy snack/drink.

Have you ever had an orange julius? Or an orange creme ice cream bar? Tastes like that.

Its 1 cup of orange juice and a scoop of vanilla whey protein powder. YUM. Just make sure its cold and blended well. :)

TTC 2009

Yay - we'll be TTC in 2009. 

The IVF is on the calendar and all the pre-IVF appointments are tentatively on the calendar too. Time to scour the house for loose change  -I'm sure I saw a dime between the couch cushions.

Seriously starting Weight watchers tomorrow. My plan is to loose 15 pounds before Jan, any weight loss can help in conceiving... Might as well obsess over food, weight and the slow moving scale!

Taking a break

Its official - we're taking a break. What from? you might ask. From a lot of things but mostly from trying so gosh darn hard to get pregnant. We took a break from TTC in April and May so I could have metal taken out of my ankle. My ankle is almost better and we're mostly burned out and need a break.

A break sounds so nice. Sounds like you're putting your feet up (not the same way as I did while TTC) drinking a cup of coffee or an ice tea. Sounds relaxing and restful. We're taking a break from having out lives overplanning and yet not controllable. We're taking a break from DH's busy work. We're taking a break from not living our lives to the fullest.

So yes - we're relaxing (hoping to have a vacation soon) and taking a break from TTC. Maybe we'll get pregnant while resting, isn't that the advise we hear all the time - Just relax and it will happen. Well I've tried everything else, lets try this too!

Second opinion

I got a second opinion about IVF from a local clinic with great success rates. It gave me clarity and peace about our fertility situation. Overall I did NOT like this RE, he did not make me feel hopful, but in reality made me like my other RE much more and trust in that clinic more.

I felt like he wasn't willing to even try IUI or anything with me until I removed the fibroid. He questioned the results of my hysteroscopy and saline hystogram. I was dismissed. This is the clinic which has great numbers and NO WONDER - they won't do an IVF unless the conditions are ideal. I never thought I would leave without a plan or an offer to do some treatment.

My fibroid is 5 cm and he said I'd need a laporotomy with a bikini area incision and would need 3-4 months to heal and would then have scar tissue which would be an issue if I ever did conceive twins.

I have peace because I realize its not God's will to have a baby right now. My Reg Dr could do an IVF in Dec, this new RE would make me wait to remove the fibroid and heal -so IVF in 4 months. Both RE's are giving me answers that point to "wait". If hadn't seen this Dr today, I would question my reg. RE and wonder IF I could have gotten pregnant now or sooner.

This RE who wouldn't treat me the way I am shows me that his numbers are great, but maybe my reg. RE has lower numbers because he's willing to try even if the odds are against you. I will ask him very specific questions in regards to my fibroid, but he has done all the testing already and has decided it was OK to proceed.

So I will stick with my reg RE. I feel like I got a second opinion about my fertilty and possible treatment and was satisfied that Both Drs think IVF should be my next option and that I would have good success. We are going to do IVF in Jan, get through the Holidays without the fertility treatment stress.

To test or not

I had thought of testing today - but chickened out - just did NOT want to see a BFN before teaching the little ones at Sunday School. Way too hard. Maybe test tomorrow - maybe Tuesday.

I think the smartest thing for us right now - is if its BFN, stop TTC until we do an IVF. Save the money and the last bit of meds I have, and try to loose weight and get more healthy for DH and I.

No symptoms - just my sciatic nerve hurting - but thats a weight issue - not pregnancy. When I know - you'll know!